no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
