it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
