my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm always down for nudity.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
