Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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