I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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