I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
