i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
