How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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