my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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