i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
