if i can run in heels then i can drive
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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