how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I want her autograph on my taint
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
