I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am one with the molecules
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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