I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize