I'd wear matching sweaters with you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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