dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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