well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize