He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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