I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
