Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
