I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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