my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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