this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
