lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
