There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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