He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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