dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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