Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
