How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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