So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
