found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize