just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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