Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
where does the pee come out of this thing
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
