i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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