he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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