Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"

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(410): View more from Maryland

operation have a gay friend backfired

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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(360): View more from Washington

Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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(256): View more from Alabama

Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement

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(361): View more from Texas

Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.

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