i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!