maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.