Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

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  (757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc
  Replies (36) Good night (3154) Bad night (1174)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl

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  (770): theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl http://tfl.nu/qhni
  Replies (16) Good night (3940) Bad night (1233)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone

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  (631): You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone http://tfl.nu/0bcu
  Replies (4) Good night (4489) Bad night (1066)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre

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  (303): im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre http://tfl.nu/07ct
  Replies (10) Good night (2083) Bad night (1254)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.

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  (423): pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards. http://tfl.nu/9pdc
  Replies (10) Good night (3604) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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  (602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185
  Replies (8) Good night (1014) Bad night (2358)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

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  (509): you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/fzjz
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (2407)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1812) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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  (612): Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/wabc
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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  (709): its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless http://tfl.nu/73du
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit

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  (217): Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit http://tfl.nu/cmoj
  Replies (0) Good night (578) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.

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  (304): I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here. http://tfl.nu/t14q
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

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  (440): If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands http://tfl.nu/oo81
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.

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  (715): Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands. http://tfl.nu/vpbs
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night

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  (248): Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night http://tfl.nu/dll5
  Replies (4) Good night (263) Bad night (131)

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