found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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