I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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