I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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