Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
