Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
