I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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