You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Your penis caused this!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
