He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
