So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
