Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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