I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
