Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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