went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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