I want to make a zoo with you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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