Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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