Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
