thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize