Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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