Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
