yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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