he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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