About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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