remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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