he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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