haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life is pants optional.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
