Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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